What Could Possibly Go Wrong? ‘Bloodrayne’ Hinged Arm-Swords

Image courtesy Wikipedia

The original ‘Bloodrayne’ was good trashy video-game fun, circa 2002: a fearless and comely half-vampire Nazi hunter going all Ginsu chop-socky on hundreds of fanatic Hitler-worshipping sycophants. Her favorite weapons? Two hinged arm-swords that could impale or simply dissect hapless SS war criminals.

The original game was rated “M for Mature” for good reason: a digitized Bloodrayne starred in her own topless Playboy centerfold in 2004. I won’t bother to link to it; I know you can find it if you want to.

Image courtesy Edgeimport.com

If these ‘teen’ years (2013 through 2019) have you pining for 2002’s nostalgic days of extraordinary rendition, anthrax poisoning and Nazi-hunting, you can click on the photo to buy your very own pair of ‘stainless steel’ Bloodrayne arm-swords for just $19.99.

These awesome Playstation 2 video game replica weapons are yours today!Overall Length 27″ Adjustable Arm Band !!!Includes Free Sheath. One solid piece of hard anodized black stainless steel stretches an amazing 27 3/8″ long. Unlike any other sword in its class, this hi-tech offers a handle with firm gripping power.

The bargain-basement price suggests that these might be little more than oversized letter-openers, but imagine the hilarity when the police shout “DROP THE WEAPONS!” with their guns drawn, while you’ve got the damned things strapped to your forearms.

Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

comments

  1. I_Like_Pie says:

    The picture above if for your right arm.
    The left arm is a giant fork.

    It is the favored tool of the trade for the buffet line ham cutter.

    1. Matt in FL says:

      “What? I really like steak!”

  2. jwm says:

    Best not forget you’re wearing these things and get an itch that needs scractching.

  3. Paul W says:

    BloodRyne was forever ruined for me by that crappy Uwe Boll movie 🙁

    1. Chris Dumm says:

      Uwe Boll must die. He is a walking crime against art.

      1. jwm says:

        Maybe not die. but at least hauled up in court for crimes against humanity. Jurgen Prochnow and Clint Howard should be called in as witnesses.

        1. Chris Dumm says:

          I bow to your wisdom.

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What Could Possibly Go Wrong? ‘Bloodrayne’ Hinged Arm-Swords

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