At the risk of channeling my inner 7th-grader, it’s easy to cut the cheese. No, really: most cheeses aren’t that hard to cut, they’re just hard to cut neatly. I know I’ll catch hell for saying this too, but cutting the chocolate is a fair sight more difficult. No, really…
There’s a reason most jumbo-sized chocolates are actually hollow, and it’s because large solid blocks of chocolate are damned difficult to dissect. One of my favorite aunts (you know who you are) lives near Hershey, Pennsylvania, and one of her favorite gifts to your younger Editor was a solid-chocolate Hershey’s Kiss the size of a baseball and weighing almost half a pound.
My Christmas-morning glee at unwrapping this beast was quickly tempered by the near-impossibility of eating the damned thing. You’ll break your teeth or lose your dentures trying to chew through it, and you’ll lose a couple of fingers if you try to chop it up with a Swiss Army Knife like I briefly attempted.
Too bad we didn’t have one of these Berti Chocolate Knives in the drawer. The smaller model at the top is more of a chocolate chisel, and this larger version is the chocolatier’s version of the bone saw. Depending on the size of the confection your trying to section, these will make short and sweet work of your chocolate-chopping chores.
Chopping chocolate ain’t cheap, though. The street price for these is $240 to $260 each, and spending that kind of money on a novelty knife would probably result in a very unhappy Valentine’s Day.