From George Orwell’s 1984:
“In the walls of the cubicle there were three orifices. To the right of the speakwrite, a small pneumatic tube for written messages, to the left, a larger one for newspapers; and in the side wall, within easy reach of Winston’s arm, a large oblong slit protected by a wire grating.
This last was for the disposal of waste paper. Similar slits existed in thousands or tens of thousands throughout the building, not only in every room but at short intervals in every corridor. For some reason they were nicknamed memory holes. When one knew that any document was due for destruction, or even when one saw a scrap of waste paper lying about, it was an automatic action to lift the flap of the nearest memory hole and drop it in, whereupon it would be whirled away on a current of warm air to the enormous furnaces which were hidden somewhere in the recesses of the building.
Every inhabitant of Oceania, er, the United Kingdom should recognize this fetching, robin’s-egg blue receptacle. It is Britain’s modern version of Orwell’s ‘memory hole,’ where politically inconvenient articles are disposed of. In this case, the politically inconvenient articles are knives.
And they’re inconvenient because the explosion of knife crime in the U.K. is directly related to the helpless disarmament of its citizens. British thugs know that their prey have all been defanged, and that the only real danger in their profession is accidentally tergeting an undercover cop or another thug.
But you have to laugh (else you’d go crazy) at the corny slogan and the ‘scary’ knife graphic on this memory hole.
- It’s got a thumb stud, because only criminals have thumbs.
- It’s also got partial serrations, which we all know were only designed for ripping out the throats of Metro riders and little children.
- It’s got a locking blade, which is only made for criminals because who else needs locks in a society as safe as Britain?
- It’s got a scary black handle. Because black is scary. That’s why.
In Britain, of course, a farmer’s Opinel is just as feloniously illegal as the generic EDC knife shown on the box. We continue to be amazed and appalled at Britain’s continuing saga of autocastration, and it just keeps happening anyway.
What would Winston Churchill have had to say about any contrivance called a ‘Surrender Bin?’
We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender…