Under what circumstances would you ever stab someone with a knife? For you and I, the only answer is “to save my life or the life of an innocent, from a homicidal maniac.” For some of our dimmest and dullest, however, the list includes “Wanted To Watch Honey Boo-Boo” and “My Roommate Wouldn’t Stop Watching Axe Men.”
It happens more frequently than you might think.
In 2008, a 19 year-old Minneapolis woman stabbed her boyfriend in the stomach when she didn’t like the TV show he was watching. Britney Love Venton almost killed 25 year-old Nicholas Ervin Smith, and got herself charged with aggravated battery. (Courtesy twincities.com.)
In 2010, 46 year-old Francine Ann Sullivan stabbed and slashed her husband because he wouldn’t stop yelling at her, asking where she had put the remote control. (Wheeling News-Register.)
And last May in Woonsocket, RI a man tried to stab his neighbor after an argument over the neighbor’s TV remote. 61 year-old Julien Stroz had been (wait for it…) drinking with his upstairs neighbor, 78 year-old Stanislaw Okruta, when the pair started arguing over what they were going to watch.
Apparently their October-December bromance turned sour, and Stroz retrieved a large knife from his apartment and returned to menace Okruta with it. The old man turned the tables on Stroz, grabbed the knife from him and stabbed him with it. Stroz was treated for his injuries, and Okruta was not charged. (Courtesy Providence Journal.)
What’s the lesson here? Avoid stupid people doing stupid things. And if some drunk asshole really wants to watch more Honey Boo-Boo, give them the remote and GTFO. You’ll both be happier for it.