Crime and Punishment

Sword Tip: You Are Not Bruce Willis.

An (alleged) crackhead in Freetown, MA is lucky to be alive after he charged a police officer while brandishing a samurai-style sword. Instead of going all Bruce Willis or Highlander on the officer, however, he got Tasered senseless and dragged to the hoosegow on an attempted murder rap.

 

33 year-old Robert Reynolds, Jr. had already menaced his wife with the sword and tried to strangle her, according to police. When Officer Christopher Madeiros responded to the domestic violence call, Reynolds Bansai-charged him with the sword too.

Officer Madeiros probably figured out that Reynolds was either stoned or bat-shit crazy, and the officer executed Plan A and shot him with his issue Taser. Luckily for both of them the barbs stuck Reynolds solidly and juiced him into submission. Plan B (center-mass hollowpoint perforation, followed rapidly by death) was not necessary.

So instead of paying for an autopsy and a pauper’s grave, the citizens of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts will get to pay for Reynolds’ room and board for the next decade or so while he sits out his nearly-inevitable convictions for attempted murder, assault, drugs and weapons charges.

I’m sure Reynolds was just ‘misunderstood’, however, and that he’ll live an exemplary life upon release from prison. Someday. Maybe.

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Discussion

7 responses to ‘Sword Tip: You Are Not Bruce Willis.

  1. Had I been there I would have ditched the taser and went hollow points. Even allowing for the fact that the sword was probably a cheap reproduction. After all, it just has to work once and they’re stamping “The End” on your medical records.

  2. “33 year-old Robert Reynolds, Jr. had already menaced his wife with the sword and tried to strangle her, according to police. When Officer Christopher Madeiros responded to the domestic violence call, Reynolds Bonsai-charged him with the sword too.”

    Chris, them little bonsai trees don’t hardly charge at all. I think you meant “Samurai-charged”.

  3. Banzai was the call when the nips charged the Marines. It is a run to death so he was making the right call. the cop did not want to live with the result so he tazed him. I would think this is a good out come for all.

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