Obscure Object Of Desire

Spatula/Machete/Bottle opener? Yes please.

Spatula

Yes please.

In my younger and dorky days, (as opposed to my current old and dorky state) my Dungeons and Dragons character had a magical “Blender of Everpouring”. It would be the perfect compliment to this very real yet magical tool, the Machete spatula by Slam Designs.

Given it is from the UK, it is not actually sharpened, so you are on the honor system to not actually put an edge on this tool. For the children or something.

bottle

It slices, it dices, it opens bottles.

Slam is a UK-based online retailer targeted at a domestic audience. If you were actually interested in acquiring the abovementioned Object of Desire, you might have better luck dealing with this very highly rated EBay seller for shipment to the States. It is my experience that a smaller private transaction in an established forum like EBay tends to work well for small scale import exchanges such as this. It worked for my Hultafors Axe. Your mileage may vary.

From their EBay listing:

Machete Spatula and Bottle Opener – BBQ Fun by Slam Design! Love the smell of barbeques in the morning? Stand your ground and take command of the grill. Beat your way through the jungle of sausages, steaks, sweetcorn and anything else you need to flip. The smoke, the heat, the pressure to deliver. Does that make you a thirsty soldier? The Machete Spatula also comes with a trio of bottle openers for those times of need.

The ultimate BBQ tool for veterans of the grill and Rambo wannabes.

The combination Machete Spatula and Bottle Opener has a oak handle with stainless steel blade and the packaging has a cut out and keep cardboard ‘Grill Commander’ bandana.

Warning! Remember most field chefs are highly trained and you are not! So only use this machete spatula for cooking, do not use under the influence of alcohol, keep away from children, do not leave on a lit BBQ, do not use to clear undergrowth and do not hold between teeth!

I found their description amusing.

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