It is said that in the news industry the headline “Dog bites man” is a story that gets buried towards the back of the paper. However, if “Man bites dog” it is front-page news because it is an unexpected situation. Given that metric, a story like this ought to warrant a special-edition.
Celinda Haynes, the owner of a one-and-a-half-year-old Chesapeake Bay retriever dog named “Mia,” was rushed to the hospital Wednesday morning after Mia reached over her and stabbed her left forearm with a paring knife.
“[Mia] likes to grab whatever she can to get people to play with her,” explained Haynes’ daughter, Chanda Stroup to Denver7.
As it turns out, Mia is rather large for her age and was able to climb to the kitchen counter, where she found her new sharp toy.
Trying to get Mia to let go of the knife, Haynes reportedly put treats on the ground and in her excitement, Mia reached over her arm and stabbed the owner when she went for the treats.
“I need to go to the hospital,” Haynes told her daughter. “Mia just cut my arm with a knife!”
The wound — a gash approximately 4-to-5-inches long and a quarter-of-an-inch-wide — surprised medical staff at Platte Valley Medical Center, who did not believe the story at first. But they were not the only ones.
“I had to make sure I heard that right,” said Brent Flot, the town Marshal.
Deputies were dispatched to the hospital as well as Haynes’ home to investigate a case of possible domestic violence. At the hospital, officials did not believe the story. Back at the family’s home, Flot found blood everywhere, which prompted suspicion.
Her husband was cleared when it was determined that he was in line at the DMV at the time of the slashing.
When my lab, Billie Holiday, was about the same age she sent me to the emergency room. I was bending down to pick something up at the same moment she tried to jump onto the bed. Our heads clonked like a couple of coconuts, splitting my eyebrow open.
Being 11pm on a Friday night, the triage nurse took one look at me and reached for the “alleged assault” form to begin her report. I had to explain that it was my dog. She began to write it up as a dog bite/attack. She didn’t believe me until my wife corroborated the story.
In the end neither Billie, nor the Haynes’ retriever were charged with a crime. “Because she is a dog” Deputies stated.