Humor

The Creepy Clown’s Guide to Buying Kitchen Knives

Knifemaker James Terrio told me he likes to make kitchen knives because, “liberals cook too”. He has a point. Judging by our comment section, the majority of TTAK readers fall somewhere on the Right or Libertarian side of the spectrum. That isn’t surprising given our being the bastard-stepchild of The Truth About Guns.  The topics we cover tend to be geared towards people who are roughly in line with our general philosophy. However, there are plenty of liberal urbanites who can appreciate a quality kitchen knife, as is illustrated in this tongue-in-cheek piece from the Vice.com site Munchies.

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Happy Halloween!

In their piece, The Creepy Clown’s Guide to Buying Excellent Kitchen Knives, they riff on the Clownpocalypse as well as suggest some high-end imported steel, mostly from Japan.

Covering examples ranging from bread knives to cleavers, their list includes many brands with which I am not personally familiar. To be completely honest, the only truly top-shelf kitchen knife I have used is my Murray Carter. That said, I did a little digging around and the knives they suggest are all legit. The photography in the article is top-notch, albiet with their friends Giggles, Stabby, and Smiles demonstrating the knives.

From Munchies.Vice.com:

They’ve been spotted trying to lure children into the woods. Running from cornfields onto country roads. Robbing pizzerias.

Perhaps they aren’t all malicious, but if nothing else, they’re very disconcerting. In the spirit of conquering our deepest Halloween fears, it seemed like time to confront some of these jokers and see what they really want from mainstream society.

The answer: knives. Very nice knives.

Recently, a trio of clowns of the entirely scary variety invaded the MUNCHIES kitchen in search of the most razor-sharp, high-performing knives that they could get their white-gloved hands on. And boy, did they find some good ones. Our test kitchen manager Barry had no idea that he’d be joined by this oh-so-friendly squad of face-painted fiends!

Happy Halloween Folks.

 

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