When I put together the Stupid Stabbing Digest a few days ago, I somehow missed this doozy. Which is a shame, because a Massachusetts teenager would definitely would have medaled in the Knife-Brandishing Olympics when he pulled a blade on his father because he didn’t get the iPhone he wanted. On Christmas morning.
From the Enterprise News:
A Brockton man was arrested Wednesday after police say he pulled a knife on his father because he didn’t get a Christmas present he wanted.
Alexander Torres, 18, of Moraine Street in Brockton was charged with assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, assault and battery and malicious damage to a motor vehicle, according to Brockton Police Lt. Bruce Zeidman.
Zeidman said Torres did not get an iPhone he wanted for Christmas.
By throwing an armed tantrum over an overpriced gadget, Mr. Torres has made himself a poster child for ‘First-World Problems.’ It all works out in the end, though, because cell phones are strictly prohibited where he’s going.
I’ve had my fun with stupid almost-stabbings like this, but I’m going to give the last word to loyal TTAK reader jwm who totally nails it:
Old man is old school and country as hell. If I’d pulled a knife on my mother he’d a stomped a mud puddle in my ass and walked it dry.