Armless Florida Man stabs tourist with scissors

armless Florida Man

For some reason I was reminded of the colloquialism, “He was busier than a one-legged man at an ass kicking contest” when I read this story.


 A homeless South Florida man with no arms has been charged with stabbing a Chicago tourist.

Miami Beach police say 46-year-old Jonathan Crenshaw held a pair of scissors with his feet and stabbed 22-year-old Cesar Coronado just after midnight early Tuesday.

It turned into a case of he-said/he-said, with the tie broken by the victims companion.

According to the arrest report, Crenshaw says he was lying down when Coronado approached him and punched him in the head. Police say Crenshaw stabbed Coronado twice and fled.

A friend who was traveling with Coronado said they asked Crenshaw for directions when he suddenly jumped up and stabbed Coronado in his arm. He was taken to the hospital.

I am glad that no one appears to have been seriously hurt. It allows me to be amused by this story where our friend Florida Man™ once again did not disappoint.

Not an accurate re-enactment:


  1. Sam L. says:

    I’d sure like to see the video of this, but I’m guessing there is none. Dang.

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Armless Florida Man stabs tourist with scissors

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