Irresponsible Knife Owner Of The Day: Special Thanksgiving Edition

There will never be an ABC Family Movie Of The Week about Janet Garcia, but her story starts with all the bathos of a Hallmark greeting card. The 56 year-old Albuquerque woman was all alone on Thanksgiving when a neighbor’s young son knocked on her door, offering her a plate of turkey and stuffing to cheer up her holiday.

Exit Hallmark, enter David Lynch.

According to police, Garcia angrily rejected the Thanksgiving meal and ordered the 10 year-old boy to leave. He went home, and she followed him a few minutes later armed with a homemade spear fashioned from a kitchen knife and a tree branch.

From the Albuquerque Journal:

When the neighbor offered the food, Janet Garcia was hostile and asked him to move out of the duplex at 229 Grove St. N.E., according to the complaint. The neighbor was in his son’s room helping him rearrange furniture when Janet Garcia thrust the makeshift spear twice through the glass window, according to the complaint. The neighbor went to the front door to confront her, where she pushed the spear through the screen door, almost striking him, before returning to her home according to the complaint.

Janet Garcia admitted to police that she had a makeshift spear in her apartment according to the complaint, and faces charges of child abuse and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. She was booked into jail on $50,000 bail.

With bail of $50,000, she’s probably looking at a long Winter Of Her Discontent. On the bright side, she won’t be able to spear anyone when the jailer shoves her Christmas dinner through the slot in her cell door.

She won’t have her own ABC Family Movie Of The Week, but her story might make it to the small screen after all. Cable network Spike TV is always looking for batshit-crazy stories like these.


  1. 2hotel9 says:

    Again, yet another case of someone who should have been in a strictly controlled environment so she is certain to take her meds. If you look into her record she most likely has a string of complaints and police visits, perhaps a few assault and harassment charges.

  2. Mark N. says:

    Bathos? (Yes, it is a real word, but it doesn’t make any sense unless one has a very twisted sense of humor.) Or did you really mean pathos?

  3. LMJ says:

    “Bathos” is correct even if the transition in mood or style is intentional. (That’s how I read the dictionary entry).

  4. TR says:

    This lady is dangerous and she needs to be locked up she is abusive to her tenants

  5. harold j says:

    maybe she wanted a jeffrey dahmer style thanksgiving meal

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Irresponsible Knife Owner Of The Day: Special Thanksgiving Edition

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