Irresponsible Knife Owners Of The Day: Unidentified Syrian Al-Qaeda

Beheaded Al Qaeda

“Oops” is a word you utter when you type in the wrong PIN number for your debit card, select the wrong grade of gas for your car, or can’t remember all of the Cabinet-level Departments you want to abolish.

It’s not something you say after you’ve just decapitated one of your fellow jihadists (above, left) because you thought he came from the wrong sect of Islam and might be fighting for the other side.A grisly video hit the Internet recently showing Syrian rebels decapitating an accused Assad fighter with a knife. According to the BBC:

The video of the beheading shows two ISIS fighters in Aleppo province – one holding a knife – brandish a severed, bearded head, denouncing their victim as an Iraqi volunteer for President Bashar al-Assad’s forces.

They decry his immorality, saying he is a heathen – one of those who have threatened rape of men as much as women.

BBC Arab affairs analyst Sebastian Usher says horrifying videos like this stream out of Syria every day from the rebel and government side – each with the aim of sowing terror.

What makes this one stand out, he adds, is that other rebels watching the video recognised the beheaded man.

Members of the hardline Islamist rebel group, Harakat Ahrar al-Sham, said he was not a government fighter at all, but one of their own. They said he was a commander called Mohammed Fares Maroush.

He is believed to have been wounded in the recent battle for Base 80, south of Aleppo, with government forces and was being taken for medical treatment by rebel fighters.

Maybe Al Queda should start issuing ID cards to all its die-hard fanatics? It would prevent little mistakes like this one, and it would also make our job of identifying them (just prior to killing them) much simpler.

Then again, every Al Qaeda fanatic who gets decapitated by another Al Qaeda fanatic is one Al Qaeda fanatic we won’t have to mulch with a Hellfire missile.

They might feel all busted up about it inside, but the Al Queda who mistakenly butchered Fares Maroush aren’t worried about going to hell. Luckily for them, the prophet Muhammad seems to have contemplated the possibility of fratricidal beheadings like this one.

The Daily Telegraph quoted ISIS spokesman Omar al-Qahtani as conceding the error. According to the newspaper, he alluded to a saying by the Prophet Muhammad that Allah forgives those who kill a believer by mistake.

Doesn’t that just warm your heart?


  1. Aharon says:

    Did the Obama Administration provide their knives too along with the guns and bullets?

    1. Lancelot the Misspelled says:

      Kind of like how the Reagan administration gave Bin Laden and the Saudis and Afghans bullets and knives, right?

  2. jwm says:

    That was not a mistaken beheading. It was poetic justice.

    1. dph says:

      Darn, now I’ve got alligator tears all over my keyboard.

  3. djb says:

    Somewhere, Daniel Pearl is laughing.

  4. MOG says:

    The guy could get a job in a government run circumcision clinic. Pays 50 skins a week, and a chance to get a head.

  5. Dyseptic says:

    Maybe the perp’s here are really undercover Mexican drug gangsters. Same M.O. anyway. If they start using chain saws for this sort of thing that will definitely prove my point.

  6. Out_Fang_Thief says:

    Thank you for dispatching a Muslim like yourself. One less fanatical death cult member using up vital oxygen. Besides, you Muslim’s have been slaughtering each other since Mo-hammie started this death cult. By all means, go ahead and help yourself, we promise we won’t try to stop you.

  7. scubamatt says:

    What I wondered as I read this was *Why didn’t the guy say ‘hold on brothers, I’m not an infidel, I’m an Al Quaida commander with such-and-such group’?*

    Makes me think there might be a bit more to the story than we know…like maybe this guy is laying unconscious in a field hospital next to an infidel (who sees the Al Q guys looking for someone to behead). Infidel leans over and swaps the clipboards on the end of the bed, and ‘tada’ the wrong guy goes to the chopping block. Score one for our side, either way.

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Irresponsible Knife Owners Of The Day: Unidentified Syrian Al-Qaeda

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