Irresponsible Knife Thrower Of The Day: Ayo Carew


After the fashion of last week’s sword-bearing idiot Adam Kramer, a 56 year-old woman seems to have wanted some free restaurant chow and wasn’t afraid to toss some steel around in order to get it. According to police, the woman was frequent diner-and-dasher (not to mention Prancer and Vixen) Ayo Carew.

The location was a Denny’s restaurant in Vallejo, California, where Carew was trying to order breakfast. The restaurant refused to serve her because of her history of failing to pay for meals, and Carew went completely berserk.

She launched a fusillade of spoons, forks and steak knives at the waitress, who had to duck to avoid being skewered. The restaurant called 911, but Carew ran off before they arrived.

The police didn’t have to search for very long, because they took another 911 call less than an hour later about a shoplifter who matched Carew’s description.  She fought with officers, who even tried to Taser her (ineffectively) before taking her into custody.

Once Carew was cuffed up, the waitress recognized her as the knife-throwing maniac. Carew is currently in jail facing charges of assault with a deadly weapon.

Carew’s Christmas is looking pretty gloomy, but every dark cloud has a silver lining: there’s no need to dine-and-dash from the county jail, because breakfast there is always free.

Source: Vallejo Times-Herald.


  1. Aharon says:

    Obviously this poor woman is a long-suffering victim of the oppressive male dominated American patriarchy. Her emotional breakdown is not her fault. She deserves free counseling, an apartment provided by society, and financial support so she can live independently her own decent life. It is only fair.

  2. jwm says:

    When you just gotta have a grand slam.

    1. Chris Dumm says:


      I tried to fit a ‘Moons Over My Hammy’ pun in there, but I just couldn’t make it work.

  3. Jim says:

    Mmmm…Dennys…a heart attack on every plate. I have a twice a year limit. Good stuff though.

    1. Sam L. says:

      Ya gots ta live dangerously!

  4. Sam L. says:

    I am reminded of a blog I usta read (it just disappeared) called Cowtown Cop (Ft. Worth). Said this ethnic guy comes in, sticks his gun out over the counter at the short-order cook and says the usual expected. Cook picks up his really sharp knife and cuts that fool’s wrist open. I don’t recall if the cops got good prints off the gun.

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Irresponsible Knife Thrower Of The Day: Ayo Carew

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