Obscure Object of Desire: Swiss Army “Zombie” Knife


You know you want it, you just have to build it yourself. Before the Zombies come.

No, we are not talking about something lime-green and plastered with Biohazard decals. Instead this super-sized zombie killer features all the tools one might need in a post-apocalyptic environment in one easy to use package. I know the whole “zombie-thing” has pretty well jumped the shark, but I found this relatively amusing.

Says Instructables.com user seamster, the tool’s creator:

Initially I just threw all my zombie weaponry into a sort-of “grab-and-go-a-fightin’-zombies” duffle bag, but I realized it was just too disorganized to be of any practical use in a real-life zombie situation.


The tool features a hatchet/hammer, pipe wrench, adjustable wrench, auger, machete, and length of steel pipe.

“To fully grasp the necessity of such a tool, please consider the following highly probable scenario:

Sam and Fred are driving down a seemingly empty street in an old Ford pickup (looks to be a 95-ish F150, in Ford-ugly turquoise) when they suddenly find themselves engulfed by encroaching swarms of ZOMBIES!!

Brilliant as he is charming and sexy, Sam slams on the breaks with an idea.

Sam: Quick Fred, get the machete out of my bag! I’ll hold it out the window and drive in circles! That’ll clear out this undead horde in no time.

Fred rummages through a pile of tools in an old duffle bag, finding everything BUT the machete.

Fred: Uh . . . adjustable wrench . . . rigging axe . . . auger bit . . . pipe wrench . . .

The zombies are closing in.

Sam, panicked: Hurry Fred, hurry! The machete. The MACHETE!!!

Don’t be a victim. Build one today.


  1. Sam L. says:

    Terrific Idea!

Write a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Obscure Object of Desire: Swiss Army “Zombie” Knife

button to share on facebook
button to tweet
button to share via email