Question of the Day: What’s the Stupidest Thing You’ve Ever Done with a Knife?

I’ve never been a fan of “the knife song” game. Still, uh, great! YouTube is littered with examples of high speed pointy dexterity. As for edged stupidity, I once gave my significant other a razor sharp knife to open a letter. That didn’t work out so well. Nor should I have tried to prise out a camera battery from an electronic weight scale with the tip of a $250 custom blade. D’oh! What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done with a knife?


  1. DrewN says:

    My worst wasn’t a knife but a rotary deli slicer. Pro Tip: that guard is there for a reason.

  2. Jeff S. says:

    Umm, for some reason or another I end up cutting myself every time I get a new knife. I only do it once per knife but for some reason I just can’t stop myself from “playing” with every new knife I get. Some cuts are worse than others, but one knife (my Spyderco Delica) nearly cut the tip of my index finger off.

  3. Mr. Lighter says:

    Admittedly, when I’m bored and stuck inside, I’ll play the knife game sometimes… it’s fun, in a stupid, “I’m 20 and invincible!” sort of way. I don’t use any of my longer, fixed blades, though.

  4. I have a permanent scar on my left hand from impaling myself while trying to free a stubborn cork from a wine bottle with an Italian stiletto. Quite the idiot tax.

  5. Aharon says:

    When I was 18 years old I bought a Gerber MKII Commando Knife at the PX when I was in Special Forces Pre-Phase training at Ft. Bragg. Playing with the knife I slashed open my leg requiring something like 24 stitches on the inside and about 20 on the outside. I missed my hamstring by half an inch. The knife was so sharp that I only bled out a couple ounces of blood even though my leg was opened-up and the inside looked like the noodles from a macaroni and cheese dish minus the cheese.

  6. janitor says:

    ive got several scars and a cut ligament in my left middle finger from carelessness with kitchen knives at jobs…..ive folded my EDC on my finger after cutting a shirt off someone who was off to see jesus….i know, thats what shears are for, someone took them from the bag…it was an executive decision, everyone stopped for 2 seconds when they werent in the bag…..i cut the shirt while they argued about it….

    i will also never loan my EDC to anyone, even for a second. i missed my blade being used to unjam a paper shredder by a few seconds…it ate my buddies blade up.

  7. Run4 says:

    Buried it in my thumb trying to pare a pencil to do some newspaper puzzles (knives and crosswords are strange bedfellows, no?).

    My dad takes the cake though, used a Leatherman to hotwire a backhoe loader on a construction site.

  8. Leon says:

    When I was about 13 I tried to sharpen an antler handled bowie knife with a small electric bench grinder and completely ruined the blade. I found it again in my parents attic 20 years later and have tried to clean it up since. Every time I see it I just cringe. What a waste!

  9. Bob says:

    First time time I deployed a “Emerson opener” I threw it up instead and out of reaction I tried to catch it. Emerson makes a damn sharp knife.

  10. Adam says:

    Lent it to someone. If they don’t have their own knife, then they don’t know how to treat yours.

    I also cut my ring finger with a butter knife trying to open a butter packet at a restaurant. That was pretty dumb.

  11. Den says:

    Played a game of chicken with my brother-in-law. A game where you throw the knife between the feet of your opponent and the opponent moves his foot to the knife and you take turns doing this until your feet are very close together. Eventually one of the players will chicken out, not wishing to take the chance on getting stabbed in the foot. Well you probably guest by now that I won the game. But I had a hard time explaining to the emergency room staff how I managed to get stabbed in the foot while doing yard work.

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Question of the Day: What’s the Stupidest Thing You’ve Ever Done with a Knife?

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