Unlike a 50 year old intoxicated Florida Man doing something tragically stupid, it is harder to find the humor in this case of a 22-year old life cut short. It just feels wrong to be talking about Darwin Awards and the like for some reason. Call it a case of Father’s Day hangover, but I don’t take pleasure in bringing this tale of someone’s poor judgement removing them from the gene pool.
There is no such thing as a “stab-proof” vest. Even full suits of plate armor can be penetrated at specific points, and bodkin arrows and various hammers and spikes were designed to foil even the most armored of knights. We have seen multiple examples of modern vests failing when actually faced with a penetrating blow. Joerg Sprave got in all sorts of hot water by demonstrating this fact in a video, with some even accusing him of making instructional videos for terrorists. An Israeli journalist needed a visit to hospital after someone demonstrated a stab-resistant vest that wasn’t.
From Teesside Gazzette:
Jordan Easton was in the kitchen at one of his friend’s parents on August 23 last year – just five days after his 22nd birthday – when he turned a knife on himself.
Tragically, he suffered a chest stab wound and died at the University Hospital of North Tees, in Stockton.
A police investigation was launched, but no further action was taken.
Jordan’s inquest, held at Teesside Coroners’ Court, heard that the 22-year-old, of Georgiana Close, Thornaby, had been out with friends when the tragedy occurred.
After going to the house of one of his friend’s parents, Jordan said he was wearing a “stab-proof vest”.
Teesside assistant coroner Karin Welsh said: “While in the kitchen, he took hold a knife to demonstrate it was stab-proof and sadly realised it wasn’t the case.”
Jordan was rushed to hospital, said the coroner, but “despite the best efforts of the medical professionals, they were unable to save him.”
His injuries were “self-inflicted,” she said, but there was no evidence he intended to harm himself.
While likely better than nothing, there is simply no way that one of these vests can stand up to the pressure exerted on the tip of a pointed object on a deliberate penetrating blow. The most important piece of protective gear you carry is between your ears. Use it wisely.