Unlike yesterday’s post about Strider Knives closing its doors, this is a complete farce. But kudos to Blade HQ for not one, but two unique and creative items which they posted yesterday, that got into the spirit of April Fools Day.
The first riffs off the somewhat inexplicable EDC spinner craze, which David has discussed in a previous post. Instead of a mere diversionary toy, this one would probably cause the Consumer Product Safety Commission a severe case of apoplexy.
From Blade HQ:
Fidgeters rejoice! The Exacto Shredder Spinner is guaranteed to give you plenty of free time to spin as you’re waiting for stitches in the ER. With two precision-machined Exacto blades from FA-UX steel and a ball-bearing chassis system, the Shredder has seen spin times up to 25 minutes — shorter than your ER wait time! Why settle for safe spinners when you can live dangerously at high RPMs? The Shredder spinner comes with an unconditional guarantee that you WILL occasionally, probably, most likely, require stitches. The nice thing is, stitches heal pretty quickly and as far as medical procedures go, they’re relatively cheap. Impress your friends. Intimidate your enemies. Spin with the Shredder Spinner.
- Two razor-blade sharp ergo spinners from FA-UX steel, featuring the Blade HQ logo.
- Ergonomic spinner button houses an intricate circuit of hand polished ceramic (or steel?) bearings. Extremely rare bearings polished individually by passenger pigeons in East India via psytomyosis.
- Bro. You could totally use this on your beard too! Just imagine spinning this thing, then letting ‘er free into your facial hair! Beard be gone. And maybe your nose, but hey, what’s a lost nose here and there?
Coming February 31, 2018
The “Spydercomb” on the other hand is somewhat less of a danger to the user. In fact, I wish Spyderco would actually make this. Granted $130 is a bit on the steep side, but it would actually be neat to have a folding comb of a higher quality than the $10 switchblade combs I played around with as a kid.
From Blade HQ:
The Spydercomb is the pinnacle of years of carefully calculated comb research and development at Spyderco. 35 precision-machined comb tines coated in Dapper Dan’s Pomade will likely, probably blow your mind, or perhaps simply make you look like Jon Trevolta in Grease (not a bad option at all). The G-10 scales are grippy for mornings when you put waaayyy too much gel on your hands. The pocket clip is 4 way reversible for easy carry, assuming that you comb your hair after you’ve already gotten dressed and you have a pocket to carry it in. We’re not saying you usually comb your hair in the buff in the morning, but we’re not saying you don’t either.
- Unicorn tear-infused FA-UX blade steel for improved stability in humid environments like your bathroom. We know you never turn the fan on while you shower because it gets too cold in there. No shame in that, but that humidity is a beast on steel! Spydercomb don’t care ’bout no steam.
- Ergonomic textured G-10 handle for grip in steam-filled bathroom environments.
- Liner lock for easy stowing in your back pocket. This will basically, probably, unequivocally, become the most important feature of your EDC.
- Bro. You could totally use this on your beard too! Because if you’re balding at all, chances are you’re compensating for lost hair with extra hair on your face.
Coming February 31, 2018
There were some other honorable mentions in the April Fools department.
I am not sure who came up with the Zero Tolerance “Battle Spatula”, it wasn’t on the ZT page, but “Heh” anyway.
It even has a “shoulder thingy that goes up”.
And finally a shout out to our friend Dogwood Dan Eastland of Dogwood Custom Knives. It isn’t knife related, but he shared this article on releasing kangaroos in Wyoming on his Facebook page. It made me laugh.
Were any of you on the giving or receiving end of any good April Fools jokes. Please tell us about it in the comments.
Have a great Sunday folks