Sword-wielding Florida Man arrested for terrorizing Walmart parking lot.

This one almost has it all:

• Florida Man √
• Intoxicated perp √
•  Walmart parking lot √
• Swords  √

The only blemish on an otherwise perfect news story is he wasn’t armed with an alligator.

From Fox13News:

Responding officers were called by the store’s manager, who said someone was threatening customers in the parking lot. When they got there, they found Shannon Schenck carrying two swords and appearing to be under the influence of drugs or alcohol, the police department said.

Several witnesses told officers Schenck had “assumed a fighting stance and unsheathed the swords in a threatening manner while approaching customers exiting their vehicles.”

Officers also found less than 20 grams of marijuana on Schenck, as well as a glass pipe with marijuana residue.

Schenck is a convicted felon. He now faces charges of possession of marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia, two counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, and three counts of possession of a weapon by a convicted felon.

This is not what happened…

(h/t Tactical Shit)