Another DKU: Long Island Robber Brings A Gun To A Sword Fight, Flees In Terror

“Guns are for show. Knives are for pros.” This line from Lock, Stock, And Two Smoking Barrels may not always hold true, but a naked blade in the hands of a fearless man does hold a primal terror. Guns can kill quickly, but if that blade touches you you’ll either have a slow and painful recovery or a slow and painful death.

When those are your choices there’s not much room for bravado. The masked robber in this image understands that now.

According to the Suffolk County Police Department, on September 25th this masked robber entered a Stop-N-Shop (yes, that’s the store’s real name) in Brentwood, NY with a small handgun pointed at the clerk. The pistol wasn’t an airsoft or a replica: the robber fires a shot past the clerk several seconds into the robbery. The police are describing it the gun as a .22, but they’re not saying if it was recovered.

Unfortunately for the robber, his gun didn’t produce the immediate compliance he expected. Instead of emptying the cash register, the unnamed clerk pulled a machete from under the counter and tried to do an Obi-Wan on him.

The robber hasn’t been identified or apprehended, but someday he’ll get drunk and tell his buddies about the time the clerk pulled a sword on him. The buddies will talk (because there’s a reward offered) and our pathetic bandit will get hauled to the hoosegow.

Until then, I’ve made him the star of his very own MasterCard commercial.

Click here for the full store video on YouTube. It’s pretty good too, especially the last few seconds.


  1. I_Like_Pie says:

    Neither one of your videos has the shot of the clerk chasing him though the parking lot…..That is funniest clip I have seen online in quite a while.

    Look it up – it is well worth showing to everyone.

    1. Chris Dumm says:

      I updated it to link directly to the YouTube source.

    2. knightofbob says:

      I, too, thought the parking lot was the best part when I first saw it last night. I watched it muted, but the version in my head had “Yakety Sax” playing. Your mileage on scantily-clad women may vary.

  2. Out_Fang_Thief says:

    Obviously, this guy was channeling his inner Danny Trejo.

    Machete Kills…and chases away pussies with a gun in their hand.

  3. Aharon says:

    I once reviewed some stats on criminals that use guns in their crimes. A surprising number used a gun that was unloaded, the right caliber of ammo (yup, some of those bad boys stuck in an ammo caliber that wasn’t made for the gun), and a number of criminals only had one round in the chamber. None of the previous information might have been the case with the robbery being shown above yet who knows at this point besides the robber?

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Another DKU: Long Island Robber Brings A Gun To A Sword Fight, Flees In Terror

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