First Caption Contest Entry: Blade Abuse Edition

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This is not the Caption This picture. It is below the jump due to several requests. I can understand why people found it disturbing. This knife is the prize for the contest winner.

I am not sure what to make of our first entry in our “Caption This” Contest. I can’t argue that this isn’t at least somewhat knife related, because this person has obviously spent time in close proximity to several sharp objects. As the first entry, Aaron P. has put himself in the pole position in the race to win a limited edition CRKT Minimalist.

Editors Note: Aaron’s entry features an individual who has taken body modification to the extreme. While I am not going to take the picture down, I did move it below the jump so consider yourself warned…

I hope that this picture breaks the ice and more of our readers send us humorous pictures that they find out on the interwebs. I will post the pictures to the blog and the winner will be the picture that garners the most captions from other readers.

Send your submissions to You could be the winner of the CRKT Minimalist.


Reader Aaron P’s entry in the contest disturbed enough people that I moved it below the jump.


    1. Bessie didn’t do it voluntarily.
      I have one piercing, and one tattoo.
      I don’t know what would compel that much body modification.

      1. PubliusII says:

        …I don’t know what would compel that much body modification.

        ….how about social pathology? I feel very sorry for anyone who feels compelled to do such self-mutilation. And, yes, it’s mutilation.

        This kid hasn’t a prayer of achieving a productive life.

        1. Forget a productive life, he doesn’t have a prayer of using a straw.

  1. Garibaldi says:

    “What has been seen cannot be unseen” – And I honestly wish I had never seen this post… 🙁

    1. Sorry. Send me a picture for the contest and it will be bumped from the top of the page 😉

      And how about some captions people? Please?

  2. DaveM says:

    Nice teeth?
    How fucked up is this guy?
    Too old to run, I’m getting at least a finger in some part of his face and see what happens after that

  3. JackInAlabama says:

    “I just can’t understand why I can’t get a decent job! I mean, even McDonald’s won’t hire me!”

  4. SigGuy says:

    Wow, now he can put the meth pipe anywhere he wants!

  5. Pat Carver says:

    I am going to have to stop coming to this site until that photo gets off the top of the page. I makes my skin crawl just to look at that.

  6. Jeff O. says:

    I think I’m going to hurl…

  7. Jason says:

    My caption?

    I didn’t want dentists in my mouth.

  8. Jim says:

    Despite his efforts to shock and I would guess intimidate some parts of the general public, I can pretty much guarandamntee that dipstick has never been in a real brawl. WTH is the point of mutilating yourself like that? Ink? Sure. Nobody even blinks an eye anymore. But THAT crap? Dont matter if you have a Phd in rocket surgery. Everybody thinks youre an idiot. And I agree. Please take that disgusting pic down.

  9. I hear you all… (and don’t entirely disagree)

    I am not going to take it down, it is a legitimate entry in the contest. However, I moved it below the jump.

    If you don’t like the picture, send something better to and enter the contest yourself.


  10. It'sAlwaysRainyInPittsburgh says:

    Entry caption:

    “What’s a fistulated cow? For science huh… fifty bucks? Hell yeah, why not?”

  11. It'sAlwaysRainyInPittsburgh says:

    Sidenote, I may be the only person on the site who isn’t bothered by this.

    “Dude, this sucks! My mom kept telling the dentist I told her I wouldn’t brush cuz no one’s gonna see. He said he’d take care of it and put me under…what if I need braces now!? I totally can’t hide them. Everyone will think I look so dumb!”

    1. Lol. Thanks for the laugh. 🙂

      I wasn’t particularly disturbed by the picture. I have seen much worse in my EMT/Firefighting days. But I can understand how the pic can be quite jarring as the first thing you see as a visitor to the site. Our dedicated readers understand the context and have a sense of the overall feel we are going for on the blog.

      A first time or casual reader might not understand and I do understand that picture is not the “face” that TTAK wants to put forward to the world.

  12. Billy says:

    How is this picture knife related?
    BTW this guys is going to be very popular in prison.

  13. BigTex says:

    Energizer scalpel. When you go under the knife, it keeps going, and going, and going.

    1. As I mentioned, it is borderline. But it has certainly drawn comments. I might not have put it up had I been receiving a ton of entries, but I thought it would as the first entry at least break the ice.

  14. Sam L. says:

    A walking, talking illustration of stupidity!

  15. Cyclone says:

    Some day he will be a great politician because can literally talk out of both sides of his mouth!

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First Caption Contest Entry: Blade Abuse Edition

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