Irresponsible Knife Use vs. Defensive Napalm Use. Should have been a Defensive Gun Use?


No. The Sunsphere is not full of wigs.

Oh..Knoxville. I love you but you make it so hard sometimes. This “Scruffy Little City” is my adopted hometown, and where my family has laid down roots. For a town of only 180k, it sure has its share of bizarre, Florida-esque crime. There was the strip club bouncer who was shot by an arrow, the South Knoxville ice-cream truck was robbed at gunpoint a while back, and this week an East Knoxville man responded to being stabbed multiple times by dousing his attacker in flammable liquid and lighting the man and his vehicle ablaze.


“Police say during the argument, the man stabbed Kalna in the arm and torso and left the house.

Kalna then retrieved a flammable liquid and threw it onto the suspect. Officers say he then ignited the liquid, setting the suspect and his own car on fire.

The suspect ran off. His whereabouts are currently unknown. Police say he is likely suffering from severe burns to his chest and lower body, but has not turned up at any area hospitals for treatment.”

I heard on the radio that the attacker/Uncle Owen impersonator has since been found. No word on his condition.


I’ll take my perp extra crispy.


  1. TerryWarlock says:

    Oh my god, this update ahahahah

  2. Sam L. says:

    It’s what came first to hand….

    Or, smoke ’em if ya got ’em.

  3. Raina Collins says:

    If stormtroopers are as precise as Kenobi claims, then they must love overkill. How much tibanna gas did they waste on those two!?

    Sidenote, I do know a girl that used a (cracked out) lighter in self-defense from a would be rapist while viewing a house for rent. It bought her time to get to her car and drive off. The douchenozzle was never caught. Apparently he was impersonating the real estate person, who was flabbergasted when she showed up late and saw the property surrounded by cops.

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Irresponsible Knife Use vs. Defensive Napalm Use. Should have been a Defensive Gun Use?

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