San Diego Grocery Store Hands Out Cheesy Cheese Knives, And Channel 10 News Throws A Hissy.

Cheese Knife

Saturday must have been a slow news day in sunny San Diego, because a reported had the time to manufacture a whole story out of no news at all. The villains of her hatchet-piece were a grocery store, a few homeless people, and a company handing out these $5 cheese knives as a free promotion.

How can this be allowed to happen? She almost screams. Something must be done!

Here’s what caused the hoplophobic hysterics: a ‘viewer tip’ came in that the Ralph’s grocery store in Hillcrest was ‘handing out knives to homeless people.’ This is the kind of ambiguous information that could be alarming (say, if someone were handing out swords and machetes to mentally ill park-dwellers) but is more likely to be as completely harmless as it turned out to be here.

But cue the bubble-headed bleach blonde: Channel 10 News’ Maria Arcego-Dunn took a camera crew to the scene and was told that several homeless people had come to the store specifically to get their free gift!

This is about as menacing as deliberately going to an IHOP to get a free meal on your birthday. And who gives a rip if they’re homeless? If you think that homeless people don’t already own knives, you’re an idiot. Homeless people have a lot more mundane daily uses for knives than most of us, because their lives are unfortunately a lot more like camping than the way we live.

There is a higher incidence of mental illness and chemical dependance among the homeless, but to suggest categorically that homeless people shouldn’t even have small kitchen knives is outright paranoia.

Since there were apparently no adults in charge at Channel 10 News that day, there was nobody to stop Arcego-Dunn from interviewing a few random passersby who gladly tossed in their ignorant two cents’ worth.

Rhonda Schwartz said could not believe a company would be so irresponsible.

“No knife is safe,” she said. “That specifically has two points on it … and a very sharp looking edge. I certainly would be concerned if that got into the wrong hands.”

‘The wrong hands’ in this case belonging to Ms. Schwartz, a cheese Philistine who has apparently never seen a cheese knife before.

A ‘journalist’ like Maria Arcego-Dunn with a camera and microphone is much more dangerous than a homeless person with a cheese knife. Unless you’re a ripe wedge of Wensleydale, that it.




  1. Duncan Idaho says:

    “I guess they’ve…” (puts on sunglasses) “… unleashed the Munster.”

  2. C says:

    Don’t you know that the homeless aren’t real people? But seriously, when are these piss their pants soccer moms going to grow up?

  3. Aharon says:

    “to suggest categorically that homeless people shouldn’t even have small kitchen knives is outright paranoia”

    Agreed. I think it goes further and exposes the loonie Far-Left’s bigotry toward people who are, willing or not, living independently and off the grid from the controls and monitoring of government and mainstream social institutions. Bottom line: it is a lack of toleration for diversity and alternate life-styles by mainstream media.

  4. Roger says:

    My brother is a social worker who works with the homeless, mentally ill, and drug addicts. The first two groups are some of the least dangerous and most victimized groups in any urban center. The last one is frequently mistaken for the first two and is what most people think of when “mentally ill” or “homeless” are used in the news.

    The homeless go get any free stuff they can. It’s free. They don’t have money. It’s not hard to see why.

  5. 2hotel9 says:

    “Think of the CHILDREN!!!!!!!” Sorry, Maude Flanders immediately lepted to mind. And yes, lepted is a perfectly cromulent word.

    Idiots like this are the reason I quit watching all “news” on the omni-directional sludge pump. There is no actual journalism in our culture anymore, sad to say. No one on the teevee reports news, they spew their opinions about events. Hell, written news online and in newspapers is riddled with the same thing.

  6. Sam L. says:

    These TV people must not be familiar with cheese. “Cutting the cheese” is about the best they can do… Aren’t they supposed to be big on white wines and cheeses?

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San Diego Grocery Store Hands Out Cheesy Cheese Knives, And Channel 10 News Throws A Hissy.

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